Archives for July 2015

Touch is my connection to the world. It is a natural way of being when you are both deaf and blind. You need no lessons or have no choice but to use the more dominant sense of what is left for effective communication. Smell and taste provide added clues toward information, but only touch can let you reach out to the world, and let you feel its beat and know its way. From that touch, communication can be obtained by language on the hands or through the use of technology such as Braille. Life can be accessed through touch. Life can be lived through touch.

 

By living life and meeting others like ourselves, a new way of life based on this touch is developing. When a few people notice that development, new and better ways can be created. It isn’t fantasy. It is happening. A way of being for the deaf and blind. A way to be DeafBlind with a culture and a community that gathers together to learn, grow, and live. The lifestyle is being called Pro-tactile because at its very heart is touch.

What is this lifestyle called Pro-tactile exactly? How do you live it? The simplest answer is just touch. The focus is literally on the touch. Most people do things that communicate by sight. People nod their head to say, “yes,” or shake their head to say, “no.” Gestures are used to visually tell someone to go away or stop. Facial expressions convey yes and no, anger, confusion, sarcasm, laughter, surprise. Hearing blind express and understand those same communication nuances through tone and inflection. They literally hear an eye roll or tears shed through voice tone and inflection or body movements. The DeafBlind can see or hear those communication clues or not well enough to ensure full understanding.

 

How can they get that vital information? Touch. We have developed natural touch techniques through our interactions with other people, but most importantly, our interactions with each other where we feel the most comfortable to explore for ourselves instead of just being communicated with and how we have been taught by hearing and sighted people who thought they knew better. What it did in reality was limit conversation and slow that conversation down to a crawl where it actually impedes comprehension. You know how when people spell a word very slowly for you to ask you what that word is, but you just can’t get the picture in your head because the individual letters are just swimming in your mind. ” P…. i…… c……, uh, t…. u… r…, uh, e” Then suddenly, that word you thought was so foreign or high level vocabulary is actually picture. Slow Tactile ASL isn’t much better. TASL without natural tactile communication clues for transferring all the feelings, expressions, and directional clues is just as mind boggling. The key word to focus on here, in addition to tactile, is NATURAL. The flow of conversation opens up and information flows and, along with that information, relationships develop and flourish.

With Pro-tactile, we add more natural touches to enhance communication and help the speed and flow of conversation to be more natural. We find ways to add those communication clues to our tactile conversations to let our participants know we are listening, understanding, and provide feedback without interrupting the flow of conversations. Head nods become hand taps on the forearm or leg. Signing yes, no, stop, right as in yes, right I agree, as the person is talking to you lets them know you are there, listening, and understanding or not understanding. In addition, descriptions of rooms, to places, and even the parts of a good story can all be done tactually on the person you are talking with to better help explain things that become abstract when painted in the air like a finger pointing or a child climbing a tree.

This part of our natural lives is developing into our customs and culture. The explanations are growing into workshops for everyone from hearing people to interpreters to DeafBlind people. These natural movements are being analyzed and labeled with terms like backchanneling which is for those tactile head nods and subtle tones of “I’m listening, I’m understanding, and I agree or disagree,” and mapping which identifies our use of each other’s backs, arms, and legs to draw miniature maps to describe the action on a stage at the play to the way to the restroom in a restaurant to describing to that person you are telling a story to show the boy climbing a tree to look across the valley. It is how we connect with each other and the world around us.

Are you wondering about those touches on the leg? Are you wondering if it is appropriate? As we meet and learn each other, we develop that rapport naturally and use techniques that are appropriate for the relationship, but all the touches are used in an appropriate manner and convenient for the conversation and its surroundings. Everyone must learn boundaries with touch in relationships, but hearing also use touch on a shoulder, hand, or even a knee to show compassion, show support or a gentle grab of the elbow or gentle guidance on the back to guide. Any of these touches can be inappropriate if in an inappropriate context, but we learn in which contexts those touches are appropriate and even beneficial. Those appropriate touches and those appropriate contexts are the same with Pro-tactile. Individuals must know what is comfortable and know how to inform when something isn’t comfortable. Pro-tactile isn’t about going beyond what is beneficial for conversational enhancement. Used properly, Pro-tactile brings us together, not push us apart.

 

Pro-tactile is just how DeafBlind people live their lives to communicate and understand their world. It is based on touch in the same way that sight and hearing is for most people. When you communicate with us, think about touch first to let us know you are there by a gentle touch on the shoulder or arm, touch our back or knee as you listen to an interpreter explain what we are saying or read what we type to you, and tap that hand, so we know you are listening. Close the fingers into a fist and tap like you would nod your head to say yes, or do a very gentle swipe with the index and middle finger and your thumb to answer (ASL for no), no, as we talk. When you laugh, let us touch your neck to feel your laughter rather than sign the ASL sign for laughter or type, “I’m laughing,” so we experience that laughter with you and can join in at the same time rather than after the fact. Draw a sad or happy face to show us your emotions. If you move, trail our shoulders and backs as you move around, so we always know where you are at the moment. As you do a task, let us keep our hand on yours as you complete it, so we always know what you are doing, and we can feel present and involved. Let your focus be touch, and you can reach us and we will be able to reach you through the Pro-tactile way – the DeafBlind way.

Links to see more of what Pro-tactile is for better understanding:

http://www.protactile.org

http://dotbug3.blogspot.com/2013/11/how-pro-tactile-changed-my-life.html

 

Golden Nala has been with us now for four months. Things have gotten back to normal. Smile. Well, no, we have a slightly different, new normal. For instance, there is no such thing as hitting the snooze button with Nala around. Once the alarm goes off, she is up and making sure we get up, too. My husband hasn’t been late to work once since she arrived, and I haven’t slept past 6:30 am either. Life with older dogs had gotten into a smooth, slow routine. Like life with a human toddler, our lives just got shaken up, but for the better.

Life is suddenly brighter at 6:30 am with Nala licks and tail thumps as she manages to wake both of us at the same time, giving one puppy kisses and the other tail thumps before friskily flipping in one bounce to reverse the action. At first, it was an excited run to the yard for morning busies. Now, after four months, Nala insists on food first followed by a brisk walk around our large yard, sniffing every flower or bug and greeting the neighbor dogs as she takes care of morning busies along the way. I have gotten more exercise in these months and seen more sunrises than I have in a few years. The feel of the warmth on my face as the sun slides up has taught me where east is while filling me with joy as I ponder God’s creation. The two older dogs, who used to sleep in beside me, now walk with us and feel the warmth of the new day’s sun melting away the stiffness from the old bones. Life is different with Nala, but it is better.

In her short time, Nala has gotten used to new sounds, new sights, and new activities. Nala has given kisses to several students as they took new baby steps seeming to understand that baby steps were actually giant leaps for each of them as she encouraged them to keep working. Nala has helped me graduate the 2015 class of Wynfield Christian Academy and even gave them the signature Nala full-body wag as we all celebrated their milestone. Recently, we traveled out of town to a special service held by the South Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church to say goodbye one last time to my sweet Daddy. Nala led me through the crowds, sat at my feet as we listened about his life until it was our moment, quietly helped me take the first corporate communion I’ve had in years, and then she stood by my side as the Elder called his name, and we said, “Thank you, Lord, for this your servant.” Nala leaned against my leg as if to support me and show her love as they rang the bell signifying that Daddy is now at home in peace.

Nala has done so much already in a short time, but is she a second match in Heaven? I already had one, so is my prayer for a second too much to ask? Nala is fitting in so well, that you might think it is possible. Let me tell you a little story about talking with her puppy raiser and how it all began. . .

Nala’s puppy raiser family was a husband, wife, a daughter who was a senior in high school, and another daughter who was a Junior, along with a niece. In a way, Nala had lots of help in the raising department. Nala was sponsored by a Junior class at a high school as a gift honoring the Senior class of that high school. The high school was the school the two daughters attend. In fact, the younger daughter, being a Junior, sponsored Nala, as a gift honoring the Senior class, including her very own older sister. That might seem like a coincidence, but there was a plan in place. Nala’s raiser, the mom, had a father who really supported the cause of Southeastern Guide Dogs and had always wanted to raise a puppy for them. He died a few years ago, before he got the chance. Nala’s puppy mom decided she would complete the dream herself and raised one puppy before Nala. The raiser didn’t say, but I can read between the lines and probably see that the mom or the Junior daughter knew just the perfect gift to suggest to the Junior class to honor the Senior class and her sister giving her sister an even more special gift as the new puppy could live with them for a year being loved by them all. This story, minus my little addition of reading between the lines, was included in the public bio of the raiser and her family in the welcome package I received the day I signed the owner transfer agreement to receive Nala at the end of our training period. With my father dying so recently and the fact that he loved dogs and my gift of independence through a dog, I felt a connection to this family I had never met. There was a common thread between our two families: the love of a dog.

With this thought in mind, I was given a brief connection via emails just before my trainer left. There would not be any other connections for at least ninety days. That is a good policy that Southeastern Guide Dogs has because it allows a smooth transition for the dog’s bonding to the new handler. Once the transition is made, then both parties can decide, unfettered by feelings of obligations and deeply sensed sentiments, whether or not continued contact fits their particular lifestyle. Not knowing what either of us might decide, I wanted to leave a distinct impression of my appreciation for what the family does for Southeastern Guide Dogs and especially for what they did for me, personally. We talked in text about the generalities of our lives, and I explained how much a guide dog does for me by giving me a sense of independence and confidence. Then, I couldn’t help but think of my father again, knowing he would have loved meeting Nala, which reminded me of how the love of dogs brought our two families together. I typed, “Your father is smiling down on you, I’m sure, proud of what you are providing to those of us who need it.” It was all I knew to say to express so much of what was in my heart.

Later, as I talked with my trainer, she told me the puppy raiser had said I seemed perfect for Nala and had brought her to tears with my comment. I was so glad that those few words were able to express some of what I felt. My trainer went on with words I didn’t expect. “I feel this was truly a match made in heaven.” My heart skipped a beat, and I gasped with awe. My Lord had found the perfect way to show me His love and that He is always in the middle of the details. I typed quickly to confirm, “Did you tell her about my article or anything like that?” The response was, “No, nothing at all. I thought it was interesting.” All I could say was, “Yes, there is a God.” Yes, there is, and He is perfect in every way and so good to me.

We make plans, but God guides our steps. That scripture, Proverbs 16:9, has meant a lot to me over the years. It has never been more visible, more real, than it was in that moment. Thank you, Lord, for Your goodness and faithfulness. Yes, I certainly got a second match made in Heaven.